The Gender Reveal That Wasn’t

So…today was SUPPOSED to be that magical day in which I found out if I need to prepare to go buy football equipment for my son, or a shotgun to keep yours away from my daughter.

Now, I’ve been waiting on this day since the doctor first told us that we could find out the gender sometime in October.  However, my beautiful, lovely, considerate wife decided that it would be more fun (apparently for people other than myself, lol) if we waited and had a “Touchdowns or Tutus” gender reveal party so everyone could find out at the same time.

At first, I was completely cool with this.  I can do a party to share the info with everyone, no big deal.  That is, until a couple of days later when she explained to me that everyone actually meant EVERYONE…which would include me as well…wait, huh?

What you talking ’bout, Willis?!?!

Men, let me tell you exactly what my mind heard when Sonia started giving me her plan for how this gender reveal would work:  She said, “First, we’re going to go in to the ultrasound & have the nurse show us everything, except what we actually came to see.  Then we are going to have her write the gender down and put it in an envelope that we are not going to open. (Which seems to defeat the purpose of the entire appointment to me.)

After that, we’re going to spend a week decorating the house, landscaping the yard, & buying food so that we can invite a bunch of friends and family over to the house for them to watch us find out something that we could’ve known four days prior for free. Ok?” (Yup, sure, that makes perfect sense…not really, but I’ll play along.)

I can hear the collective sigh of women all over the world at how my mind completely rationalized her explanation of this entire event.  But, ladies I’m sorry to tell you (not really sorry) that this is how we men think when you come up with these extravagant plans!  All we hear is how much more complicated this just became compared to us simply looking at a screen and having someone tell me to get my buckshot ready. (See how simple that was?)

Yet, for the love of my wife, I went in this morning and willingly subjected myself to the scheduled ultrasound & the start of the extreme level of torture she is putting me through this week, all the way up until the reveal on Saturday afternoon.  The nurse even had the nerve to hand me the envelope to hold, which I quickly threw into Sonia’s purse.  I truthfully let the nurse know that I can’t be trusted with it…told her that a brother like me will be locked in a closet somewhere solving the gender mystery with a clothes steamer and a flashlight!

So, I’m asking you all to say an extra prayer for me this week.  My curiosity is killing me and my wife is thoroughly enjoying watching it happen!


2 Comments on “The Gender Reveal That Wasn’t

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