So, the 3-English-Circus returned back to their hometown of Kenosha, WI this weekend. With that return, they are proud to announce the addition of a new & incredibly entertaining act that has been dubbed “The Narcoleptic-Poop-Patrol”, in which the participants change as many poop & pee-filled diapers they can while operating on the least amount of sleep possible.
I’m happy to report that there has only been one mishap, which involved the one being changed deciding to go off script and wait for her diaper to be completely removed, and THEN start peeing all over my, I mean her father’s, side of the bed. This taught a very valuable lesson to the other participants as to why you should never remove a diaper before you are absolutely sure you are ready to put on the new one. Trust me when I tell you that this sheet-staining lesson will definitely be remembered for all future performances.
In all seriousness, though, this has been a wild and crazy weekend to bring home a newborn. We came home Friday night, I had the Poets In Autumn event all day Saturday, and then 2 services and a leadership meeting on Sunday. Needless to say, I have an amazing wife who took on the brunt of the work on the first couple of days with Naomi. Between Sonia, and the help of some amazing friends & family, we have managed to make it work with my crazy schedule.
The challenge for me has been in adjusting to things once I get home. Just a week ago, it would be nothing to just walk in the door, kiss the wife, and tell her that I’m exhausted and on my way to bed for the night. But, this weekend, it was walking in the door, kissing the wife, telling her how exhausted I was, and then her answering by handing me Naomi and her diaper bag and saying, “your turn!”
We have been working to get her used to a 2-3 hour schedule for eating. So, unfortunately, with her being exclusively breastfed, that means that both of us also have to be on the same 2-3 hour schedule as well. Now, my job as part of the Team English Feeding Committee is to be the official Baby-Waker-Upper whenever eating time arrives. It is my fault that I have this role, as thanks to me not being the…uh…most quiet of people during the pregnancy, our child can sleep through anything…literally.
So, with that being the case, I have learned to be pretty creative in getting her to wake up. Everything from tickling, to diaper changes, to cold wash cloths have been utilized; and if the faces my baby has been making could be translated directly to words, I’m sure I would need to bleep out a large majority of what she has been saying to me over the past few nights!
An interesting wrinkle to this weekend was that Jazz has been living in his own personal doggy suite at Wolfman’s Lodge since early Wednesday morning. This suite included multiple feedings, 5 chaperoned trips outdoors, his own personal bed and a television playing movies & cartoons on a 24 hour loop “for his entertainment”. So, Sunday after church, against Jazz’s bougie wishes, I went to pick him up and bring him back to the real world to meet the family’s new edition.I know that I constantly make fun of Jazz and his antics, but I have to honestly say that he never ceases to amaze me with his ability to adapt to whatever life throws at us. This dog came in the house and promptly began treating Naomi like she has been a part of the family for months by hardly paying any attention her at all…except for that one time Sunday night when she was crying. This clown started howling in the same pitch, matching her intensity & tone for about 3 straight minutes. I nearly had to go repent as we were laughing so hard at him that we nearly forgot to check on Naomi!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not trusting him to give her horseback rides through the house. And we definitely have to keep an eye on him to make sure he’s not running around licking her on her face, or lips, the way he purposely gets me from time to time. (Especially when I know exactly what parts of his anatomy he daily spends 10-15 minutes licking. Lol) But, truthfully, this meeting between the two of them had been a major concern for us, and it couldn’t have gone smoother.
I will end this post by letting you know how happy I am to say that I have successfully navigated through my first weekend as a new parent. It has definitely had its share of challenges that Sonia & I have had to work through. Our ability to work together as a team has made all the difference in the world, but the challenges are still there, none the less. However, those challenges all fade into the background whenever I sit and study the incredibly beautiful face of Princess Naomi Anaya, the Valentine’s Day Cutie who has staked her claim on my heart.